I have demons in me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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