100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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