hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
