I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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