my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
