Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I need a hoe opinion
go on
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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