The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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