btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
