Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
