they need to just BURY HIM!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
