I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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