I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
