I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
