We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
