Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
