1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My pussy is not your playground.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize