Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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