Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
