Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize