this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
