I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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