I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
