I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
