we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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