watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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