the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
