so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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