im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
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Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
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Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize