I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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