it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Someone shattered a urinal.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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