Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
