I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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