This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
