I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
