im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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