Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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