yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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