The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
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No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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