I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
