God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
