You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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