If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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