dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Your dad touched me again.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
