we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
