:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
