He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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