When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
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