i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize