I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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