Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
