So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
