Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.