How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
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you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.