I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
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it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
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But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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