were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
