just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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