also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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