awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
